


What Does the Fox Say?

by numba1fangirl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-17 01:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3510734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/numba1fangirl/pseuds/numba1fangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a witch turns the pack into their inner animals and Derek doesn't like the outcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Does the Fox Say?

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to fanndists.tumblr.com for being my beta :)

Stiles really hated witches. They always screwed everything up with their spells and complicated his life. At least this time, though, he got something amusing out of it.

It had all started a few days ago when Derek called them all for an urgent meeting in his loft. Everyone showed up and made themselves comfy in the living room. Jackson and Lydia had curled up together on the chair; Erica, Boyd, and Isaac had taken up the sofa; Scott was on the floor with Allison in his lap; Stiles was sitting next to them, leaning up against the arm of the couch; and Peter was lurking in the back somewhere. Derek stood in front of them all with his usual sour expression on his face.

"I recently found out that there may be a witch in town," he told them. "I don't know who they are or what they're planning, but be on the lookout. We need to figure out what they're up to before they hurt someone or otherwise complicate our lives."

"You mean complicate like last time when that witch was trying to become immortal and one of the ingredients she needed was the blood of a werewolf, so she shrunk you for easy transport and kidnapped you?" Stiles asked.

Derek glared at him, but Stiles just grinned. Antagonizing Derek was one of his favorite pastimes.

"Aw, remember how adorable Derek was when he was six inches tall?" Erica said.

"That angry expression just doesn't have the same effect on a face that small," Lydia added.

Derek sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, that is exactly the type of situation we'd like to avoid."

"You have to admit that it was pretty amusing," Peter said. "Although I can see why you wouldn't think so."

"No, it wasn't amusing. It was frustrating and awful, so please, everyone be on the lookout."

* * *

It didn't take long for the witch to show herself. Turns out it was the same witch whom they had driven away for shrinking Derek and she wanted revenge.

Revenge-driven witches were something Stiles could easily live without.

Stiles was on his way to the loft when the witch came up from behind him and used a spell to knock him unconscious. He woke up in a cage in a dank room somewhere while she danced around making potions and bragged about using him as bait for the rest of the pack.

Getting used as bait was also something Stiles could live without.

"This isn't going to work," Stiles told her. "I mean, sure, they'll come for me, but you won't get revenge. What you'll get is the shit kicked out of you."

"Quiet, or I'll seal your mouth shut! The sound of your voice annoys me. It's like a fly buzzing in my ear that just won't go away."

"Says the lady who talks like she's got one lodged in her throat. Hey, are you the old lady who swallowed a fly?" Stiles asked, smiling mischievously. "I don't know why you'd swallow a fly. I guess you'll die."

"You snarky little..." She looked like she was at a loss for words.

"Hey, you've gotta admit it was clever."

"Let's see how clever you are without a tongue, eh?" she asked, reaching in and grabbing Stiles by the throat, pulling him closer.

That's when the door got knocked in.

"Let him go," Derek growled.

"Ah, so the calvary has finally arrived," she said, releasing Stiles's throat and turning to face them. The whole pack was there, which Stiles imagined was exactly what she wanted.

"Give us Stiles," Derek told her, shifting into werewolf mode and stepping closer.

She grinned. "Very well. But first, why don't you all spend a bit of time reflecting. Spending some time with your inner selves should teach you a lesson." Before anyone could react, she reached into her pocket, threw a handful of white dust in the air, and disappeared.

"What just happened?" Stiles asked.

"Nothing good," Derek replied as he opened Stiles's cage. Stiles crawled out and looked up.

Instead of just falling back to the ground like it should have, the white dust had spread through the air and was now settling on each of them, clinging to their skin.

Stiles's body began to tingle. Red fur began to sprout all over his skin. He could feel his bones moving. His nose began to elongate. The room was getting bigger. He could see his fingers shrinking. His clothes were disappearing. He fell to his hands and knees, still getting smaller.

When the transformation was over, he studied his reflection in a shiny metal tub that was on the floor.

Stiles was a fox.

"What. The. Fuck." Stiles was pleased to discover that he could still talk. He was still displeased about just about everything else, though.

"You can say that again," Scott agreed.

Stiles turned around. Standing in front of him was a black cat, a labrador retriever, a female lion, a bear, a horse, a parrot, a hamster, a crow, and a gecko.

"The witch said something about reflecting on our inner selves," the parrot said, speaking in Lydia's voice. "These animals must be a reflection of who we are."

"I detest transformation spells," Peter's voice spoke out of the crow's mouth. "They really ruffle my feathers."

"Okay, well who is everyone?" Stiles asked. "I'm Stiles, the parrot is Lydia, and the crow is obviously Peter, but who is everyone else? Scott? Where are you at?"

"Here," the labrador retriever said.

"Okay, Scott's the dog," Stiles said, nodding at him. "Where's Allison?"

Stiles basically took attendance, calling out each person's name so they could identify themselves. Allison was the horse, Erica was the lioness, Boyd was the bear, Isaac was the hamster, and Jackson was the gecko.

"Okay, so that just leaves Derek," Stiles said. "So he must be..."

Everyone turned to look at the little black cat who was trying to hide in the shadows. He almost succeeded, but his big green eyes gave him away as he stared back at them all.

"What?" he asked.

Stiles burst into laughter and rolled onto his back, waving his paws in the air. "You're a little kitty cat!" he exclaimed. "The big mean alpha wolf is a little kitty on the inside!"

The others joined in, their collective laughter sounding like a zoo break because of their changed forms.

Then a loud hiss made them all stop.

Stiles looked at Derek. "Dude, did you just hiss at us?"

Derek looked down at his paws. "I was trying to growl," he admitted.

Stiles burst into laughter again. "Oh my God, that's adorable!"

"Will you stop it?" Derek was starting to sound very annoyed. "We need to find Deaton so he can reverse this."

"I agree with my adorable little nephew," Peter said. "I'd like to be returned to my rightful self as soon as possible."

They all agreed and filed out of the witch's lair looking like the weirdest pack ever assembled. Stiles just hoped no one called animal control on them before they could get changed back.

"Dude, I can't believe you're a cat," Stiles said to Derek as they walked.

"Shut up," Derek hissed. "Besides, Erica's a cat, too. Why aren't you teasing her?"

"Oh, hon," Erica said, pity thick in her voice. "I'm a lioness. You're a harmless little house cat. They are so not the same thing."

"House cats aren't always harmless," Derek grumbled. "And what about Isaac? He's a hamster."

"Yeah, but everyone already knew that he was an adorable little softy on the inside," Stiles said.

"Hey!" Isaac protested from where he was perched on Allison's back.

Stiles just looked at him.

"Ok, I guess that's fair," he conceded.

* * *

Luckily, Deaton was able to reverse the spell. And luckily, the transformation included their clothes. Stiles didn't know what he would have done if everyone had changed back naked.

"The witch is still out there," Derek reminded them. "She cast a spell on us, but that doesn't mean she's done. She could be back, so keep your guard up until we can figure out where she's gone."

* * *

They caught the witch the very next week, but Stiles wasn't about to let Derek forget the incident. He left cans of tuna at the loft whenever he was there. He waved pieces of string in Derek's face and then jumped back to avoid getting smacked upside the head. He called out "Here, kitty, kitty!" whenever he walked into the loft and didn't immediately see Derek.

Until one day Derek got sick of it.

"Will you cut it out!" Derek shouted one day as he came out of the kitchen with a can of tuna that Stiles had left there the day before. Stiles was lying on the couch with his feet propped up on the arm. Having gotten to the pack meeting a little early, he was the only other person there.

Stiles sat up. "You sound a lot more annoyed than you usually do with my shenanigans, so I'm guessing this is really bothering you."

"Yes," Derek said, the exasperation heavy in his voice. "It's really bothering me."

"Alright, sit," Stiles said, patting the seat next to him.

Reluctantly, Derek came and sat down.

"Listen to me," Stiles told him. "Yes, the jokes were a little bit at your expense...or a lot at your expense, and since it really bothers you, I will stop. But you should know, I love that you're a cat. And not just in a haha-Derek's-a-cat-isn't-that-hilarious kind of way, but also in a wow-Derek's-a-cat-isn't-perfect-for-him kind of way."

"You do?" Derek asked uncertainly.

"Yes. I do. I think it suits you perfectly. Cats are class A brooders just like you and they're sneaky as shit. They also like to hide in dark places. Not to mention how adorable they are."

"You think I'm adorable?"

Stiles froze. He could feel his entire face heating up. He knew there'd be no lying his way out of this one. Not with Derek's werewolf hearing acting as a lie detector.

He swallowed. "Um, yeah? You know, just your looks and your personality and everything about you. Okay, I'm going to shut up now. Maybe I should go."

He stood up to leave, but Derek grabbed his arm.

"Wait," he said. Derek turned Stiles around to look at him. "I think you're adorable, too."

"You do?" Stiles asked.

"Yes," Derek said. "I do."

Derek leaned in and suddenly their lips were touching. Stiles let out a small gasp before leaning into the kiss. He wasn't sure how long it was before they were interrupted by the sound of the door opening behind them and several people entering.

"Ha!" Allison exclaimed. "I knew it!"

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my cat who inspired this.


End file.
